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At the point where Christ becomes real, the old nature and the new find themselves at odds.

As I began to walk with the Lord, the Godly conviction was immediate, like a red flag waving in front of my face. I knew that playing devil’s advocate with those around me was not glorifying to God. I also saw my bitterness toward life was counter to His heart. There were many people I needed to forgive and free from the chains I had bound them in. Yet, the hardest thing to come to terms with was that God loved me – broken, wandering, tired and torn, and longing for something more. God knew that something was Him. I thought that if I acted fine I would be fine. As I began to walk with God I tried to apply the same principle. Maybe if I acted holy I would be such.

My attempts to compartmentalize the Lord were a great grievance to Him and left me empty. Every time I tried to place God in a location like church – where I could walk in and out at will – I felt empty. It was not until I realized that every moment of every day was the Lord’s and His hand was in it all, that the person of Christ became real. When I felt alone, He was there. When fear consumed me, He was by my side to comfort me. When I was marred by my own sin, He was there reaching out his hand to help me get up and move on. Deep down I knew that the Lord had chosen me and loved me despite my failures and weaknesses.

I think the greatest revelation is to realize that the Lord is not asking for our religion or our striving for perfection. He is seeking our heart. Even when we are trying to be fine, He knows our hearts. He is the one drawing us, not us tugging at Him. So, when the mask goes on and the show begins, know that you are only fooling yourself. And as our hearts cry out “Lord rescue me from myself. . .” know that the Lord is there no matter where you may be. He already knew where to find you.

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TO BE FINE